Google Is Garbage: A Startup’s Nightmare
Google blows goats. They’ve become the epitome of suck. Sure, they’re a conglomerate that owns the search market, the web, and half the internet we use daily, but that doesn’t make them invincible. It just makes them the laughing puppet master pulling the strings of every startup trying to establish their brand. If you’re a startup, you know this pain. You’ve probably received the dreaded “misrepresentation” label from Google Merchant Center.
The forums are littered with horror stories. If you’re one of the few who’s managed to decipher Google’s vague list of requirements, congrats—you’re basically a modern-day Rosetta Stone. For the rest of us? We’re out here sacrificing our firstborns just to get a “Shop Approved” status.
You can submit appeals until you’re blue in the face, but their response is always the same: “Fix the issue.” Oh, really? What issue? They serve you an indecipherable list of vague requirements that could mean anything. And God help you if you’re a Trump supporter. If you value free speech, refuse to use pronouns, or believe in individual freedom, Google’s algorithms will slap you with that “misrepresentation” label so fast it’ll make your head spin.
Oh, but you want to advertise? Of course you do! Google’s got you covered—take their baited carrot of $500 in ad credits. Sure, you’re not verified, and your store’s been denied, but they’re more than happy to take your money. They’ll let your “312” t-shirt "Mandate" and "Election Map" designs slide past their algorithms until you optimize them for SEO with keywords like “Trump” or “MAGA.” Then, BAM—denied for “violating community standards.”
And let’s not forget, once you start advertising, you’re paying tolls to sit outside their bubble while bots and trolls flood your inbox. Every “expert” from halfway across the globe offers to “fix” your site—funny how they’ve “analyzed your potential” when Google Analytics shows zero visitors. Let’s be real: Google controls the numbers, and you have no way to prove otherwise.
Where Do Startups Go From Here?
So, what’s the alternative? Where do startups turn when Google and their cronies slam the door? The truth is, we’re all trapped. I’m no saint—I’ve got Gmail accounts, and my other businesses rely on Google integrations. It’s a web you can’t easily untangle yourself from, but I’m working on it. The goal? Get as far away from Google as humanly possible.
And what about Meta? Mark Zuckerfuck is suddenly waving the free speech banner, doing podcasts with Joe Rogan, and buddying up to Dana White like he’s been an advocate all along (We all know how Facebook started = Free Speech). Let’s not kid ourselves. If, God forbid, Biden had won the election, Meta wouldn’t be running the “free speech” parade—they’d still be censoring posts faster than you can say “Hunter’s laptop.” This isn’t about free speech. It’s about securing Meta’s next four years of influence.
The Bigger Picture: Enough Is Enough
The 2024 election sent a clear message: Americans are fed up. The government is failing, the media is out of touch, and the censorship is suffocating.
The state of the nation is a dumpster fire—literally, in California’s case. Politicians point fingers while the cities burn, and news anchors care more about how their jackets fit than the lives being destroyed.
This isn’t just about politics—it’s about fairness, accountability, and common sense. Nice guys finish last because they’re being trampled by a system rigged against them. But if we stand together, we can change the game.
A Call to Action
The election results were just the beginning. It’s time to call out the bullshit, challenge the status quo, and demand a better way forward. This isn’t about left or right—it’s about building a country that rewards effort, values freedom, and stops pandering to those who yell the loudest.
