Scams to Fees: Top 3 Ways to Save the USPTO From Becoming a Scam Magnet

As we get older and more comfortable in our careers and life, some of us become midlife rebels and can't sit still, so we create side hustles to get us off the couch and pocket some extra cash. Some of these side hustles get heavy real quick. Especially of what your doing gains legs and momentum and you find yourself searching how to start a business at two in the morning when sleep hates you.

So now you're a small business owner trying to register a trademark with the United States Patent & Trademark Office (USPTO), buckle up. It’s a ride through scam emails, junk mail mountains, and enough frustration to make you question why you even bothered to play by the rules.

Here’s my story—and the three (or maybe four) things the USPTO needs to fix if it wants to stop scamming small businesses into paying reinstatement fees for missed deadlines they didn’t even know existed.

The Problem: USPTO, the Land of Miscommunications and Misery

Here’s what happened to me. I applied for a trademark, dropped a few hundred bucks into the system, and waited for months, maybe a year for my application to move through the pipeline. Then came the flood of junk mail—solicitations pretending to be official correspondence, emails that looked suspiciously legit, and enough paper spam to make me want to throw my mailbox into the street.

Amid all this chaos, I supposedly missed an email from the USPTO. Mind you, I check my email—all of it, from the inbox to the spam folder—like a psychiatric patient enduring a severe case of OCD, ADHD, and every other thing in the world required to not have one unread email in my inbox. Friends and family find me, well, thorough. I got an email this morning from the USPTO, and what did I find? They want $150 to put the paddles back on my application because it was dead. Reviving an abandoned application is what they call it.

Why was it dead, you ask? Well, it appears that I didn’t reply to one email they sent asking me a question.

I found this interesting because of what I just told you about my obsessive email-checking habits. I looked everywhere possible as I do not delete a thing since data storage in today’s age is vast. The inbox, spam folder, sent folder, trash bin—nope, nothing. I searched my entire email client, even went to the web-based server UI—still nothing.

The one email I remember from them, back six or more months prior, said something garbled verbiage about design search codes and didn’t even hint that not responding could get my application tossed in the trash. I searched for my serial number in their Trademark Status & Document Retrieval (TSDR) system under the documents tab, and there it was: a PDF called “NONFINAL OFFICE ACTION.”

The ghost email. It asked a simple question and told me to take their processors recommended reworded sentence in my application and resubmit it through a 50-step process. I searched again for any related email on my end, it has t be in here somewhere—nothing. I found all the deleted USPTO imposters emails, but not one that claimed they sent.

But here I am, paying a $150 reinstatement fee because I didn’t respond to said email I never received. The document I was supposed to receive, in the portal only stated it was sent once and only to my main email, whereas all other correspondences went out to both my main and backup emails. Hmmm.

Why does this matter? Because the USPTO’s sloppy communication and its “let’s sell and publish everyone’s info” approach to applications create a perfect storm for small business owners to fail. And when we fail, they make more money off reinstatement fees. It’s a broken system that needs fixing. Here’s how.

Top 3 (or 4) Things the USPTO Needs to Fix

1. Stop Publishing Applicant Info Until Approval

As soon as you file an application, your information becomes public. It’s like rolling out the red carpet for scammers. Want to know why you’re buried under an avalanche of junk mail and scam emails? Because your info’s out there for anyone with an internet connection to exploit. It wasn’t even four hours before the first scam trickled in after my application submission. How about we keep that info private until the trademark is approved? Not only would this cut down on scams, but it would also let real USPTO communications rise to the top.

2. Establish a "Safe Word" for Official Correspondence (That Scammers Don’t Know)

Let’s make it easy for applicants to tell real communications from scams. The USPTO could include a unique “safe word” or phrase in every email and letter, something only they and the applicant know. If you don’t see the safe word, you know it’s a scam. It’s simple, it’s effective, and it could save applicants hours of frustration and worry.

How about introducing a secure messaging system that pushes us into the USPTO’s portal for any communication? This way, we see a link with the safe word and not a knockoff. Inside the portal, we could view all official communications in the existing document section without worrying about phishing emails or spam filters.

3. Send Multiple Notices Before Abandonment

The USPTO sends one communication and starts the countdown clock. Miss it—whether it’s because you didn’t get it, mistook it for spam, or it got lost in the mail—and you’re out. A few hundred bucks lighter and stuck paying a reinstatement fee. How about sending three notices before pulling the plug? Email, regular mail, and a follow-up notification would be a great start. If someone’s willing to pay for a trademark, they’re probably willing to respond if they actually know they need to.

4. Streamline the Appeal Process

The Petition to Revive process is unnecessarily cumbersome and expensive. Why not simplify it? Make it quicker, cheaper, and less of a hassle for applicants who’ve already spent hundreds of dollars trying to play by the rules. If the goal is to support small businesses, then this is an easy win.

5. Oh, Can We Get a Modern UI to Work In?

The application process feels antiquated, like being stuck in 1995, reading through an ocean of verbiage so dense it’s like buying a toaster with a legal manual. A UI/UX overhaul would be fantastic. They could wrap this sucker into a few simple questions in a wizard, let you establish a safe word, pat you on the ass, and send you off waiting.

Wrapping It Up: Make USPTO Great Again—The D.O.G.E. Way

Look, the USPTO is supposed to help protect businesses, not trip us up with outdated processes and poor communication. Maybe it’s time for a new sheriff in town—a D.O.G.E. (Defender of Genuine Entrepreneurs) to clean this place up. (You listening Elon? If anyone is pro business, it’s him and thank the universe for that man.) Until then, small business owners are left navigating a minefield of scams, fees, and frustration.

It’s time for the USPTO to step up, fix its antiquated system, and stop making small business owners feel like they’re getting scammed by the very organization that’s supposed to protect them.

Let’s hope someone’s listening.

In honor of our government that needs a overhaul, sink yourself into the "If You Allow Government to Break Laws During Emergencies, They Will Create Emergencies To Break Laws" tee.